Friday, 22 October 2010
Monday, 23 August 2010
I have failed. I am failing. I will fail. But I am trying to try. By a young man for Orangefield Church.
I was brought up in a Christian home and had always gone to church. I was baptised as a child and was always taught who God was and what Jesus had done.
I'm not sure when it happened, I think I know where it happened but I always say that I became a Christian and prayed some “forgive me” prayer when I was about seven, one night in bed. From this age on, while calling myself a Christian, I never did anything with it, I didn't seek after God, I just was. I was always involved in church life though, going to Sunday school and all the things that came with that and later Bible class. I started helping with sound in church when I was about 14.
Some time in first year of school when I was 11, my mum and dad split up. I actually tried to be angry about this, but couldn't. For some reason it didn't bother me. My sister and I got to see both parents equally and they had an seemingly amicable relationship after this.
Some time in my young teenage years, I remember praying that I God would help me to stop swearing so much. For a month, there was an incredible difference. One time I really experienced God.
A few years on in life, three days after my 16th birthday, on a very unfortunate Thursday morning, in the early hours, my dad passed away. He had just returned from the Isle of Man TT race a week before, and went to the doctor to see about a problem he had there, and was allowed to go home with a clean bill of health. He had had a heart attack. Sad as this would be for some, I seem mostly immune to the emotions that people experience during such a time. However, I am still seeing God's blessing stemming from this event.
The following September, I went to college in Bangor to do Music Technology. While still calling myself a Christian here and even wearing a WWJD lanyard hanging from my keys, I was the one in the class the swore most.
A year later, I was 17. I got my driving licence, and, with money from my dad's estate and life insurance, I was able to get a car. In January, seven months later, I had passed my test and could drive with R plates. A few months after that, I went to a friends birthday at a One Way event run by Crown Jesus in Lisburn Omniplex and met a lot of new people from Belfast and mostly Orangefield. After this fun reunion with the friend, and liking and shortly going out with one of her friends, I was frequently coming to Belfast and was invited on numerous occasions to the church and especially to SNYF.
I had a summer job the year I was 18. It was In a linen factory which saw me getting up very early in the mornings for an eight O'clock start. So, when JAM came around in August, I only attended two nights because I needed to be in bed early. I was told I just had to come to the morning service after attending, even only partially, JAM in the evenings. So I did. And that was it. I became part of Orangefield and never left after that morning service.
During the time up to JAM and after this, I started to really grow in my faith for the first time and take the “God thing” more seriously. And the change was evident when I went to college for the second time in Belfast. I didn't swear anywhere near as much any more and ended up in a few conversations about it with other members of the class who used to be Christian or were Roman Catholic.
The following year, a few months after I was 19, I was at another friends birthday party. I made some new friends there. One evening at my convenience, I went to see one girl, and we had a great time. Shortly after, we started going out with each other.
A few months into the relationship, it happened that we started to get more physical with each other. Nothing serious to begin with but later to the point that we were both lying unclothed in a bed. We never went so far as to have sex, but these were still quite inappropriate circumstances for a Christian. I felt bad and apologised to God every time this happened. I even stopped inviting her over so much because I knew that it would end up happening again. Eventually, I gave up the relationship of eight months because I knew I couldn't stop doing this otherwise.
The following year, just before my 21th birthday, after having a wonderful friendship, I started going out with another girl who, at the time, claimed to be Christian. Not long into the relationship, she ended up discussing with me things that had happened to her previously that were similar to my past relationship. Knowing that this had been the reason for the break up of my past relationship, I had concerns that it may happen again. I told her not to let me do anything like that. It lasted for quite some time and we had a great relationship. Unfortunately staying away from the physical aspect didn't last the whole time and I ended up slipping back into the inappropriate behaviour, though not to the degree as with the first girl.
I realised my slipping away from God while my mind was consumed with the girl and the actions. I took the decision to leave the relationship to get away from the wrong actions and to focus my heart and my mind on God.
Now, I am longing after that deep intense relationship with God. Not just the Sunday morning service. The real intimate knowing, understanding, hearing and truly believing and trusting in Him one.
Recently, I have managed to get a job that I love and that suits me perfectly. Something I really love to do and with a lot of flexibility that I would want from a job and a boss. I have been found working on a small laptop underneath my desk...and no one batted an eyelid at this behaviour. This is an incredible blessing. An example of God's faithfulness, even while I was ignoring Him.
At 22 years of age, maybe now I'm finally starting to take God seriously.
I have failed many times. I am still failing. I will continue to fail. But I am certainly trying to try to make Him mine and me, His.
“As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you, oh God
I'm not sure when it happened, I think I know where it happened but I always say that I became a Christian and prayed some “forgive me” prayer when I was about seven, one night in bed. From this age on, while calling myself a Christian, I never did anything with it, I didn't seek after God, I just was. I was always involved in church life though, going to Sunday school and all the things that came with that and later Bible class. I started helping with sound in church when I was about 14.
Some time in first year of school when I was 11, my mum and dad split up. I actually tried to be angry about this, but couldn't. For some reason it didn't bother me. My sister and I got to see both parents equally and they had an seemingly amicable relationship after this.
Some time in my young teenage years, I remember praying that I God would help me to stop swearing so much. For a month, there was an incredible difference. One time I really experienced God.
A few years on in life, three days after my 16th birthday, on a very unfortunate Thursday morning, in the early hours, my dad passed away. He had just returned from the Isle of Man TT race a week before, and went to the doctor to see about a problem he had there, and was allowed to go home with a clean bill of health. He had had a heart attack. Sad as this would be for some, I seem mostly immune to the emotions that people experience during such a time. However, I am still seeing God's blessing stemming from this event.
The following September, I went to college in Bangor to do Music Technology. While still calling myself a Christian here and even wearing a WWJD lanyard hanging from my keys, I was the one in the class the swore most.
A year later, I was 17. I got my driving licence, and, with money from my dad's estate and life insurance, I was able to get a car. In January, seven months later, I had passed my test and could drive with R plates. A few months after that, I went to a friends birthday at a One Way event run by Crown Jesus in Lisburn Omniplex and met a lot of new people from Belfast and mostly Orangefield. After this fun reunion with the friend, and liking and shortly going out with one of her friends, I was frequently coming to Belfast and was invited on numerous occasions to the church and especially to SNYF.
I had a summer job the year I was 18. It was In a linen factory which saw me getting up very early in the mornings for an eight O'clock start. So, when JAM came around in August, I only attended two nights because I needed to be in bed early. I was told I just had to come to the morning service after attending, even only partially, JAM in the evenings. So I did. And that was it. I became part of Orangefield and never left after that morning service.
During the time up to JAM and after this, I started to really grow in my faith for the first time and take the “God thing” more seriously. And the change was evident when I went to college for the second time in Belfast. I didn't swear anywhere near as much any more and ended up in a few conversations about it with other members of the class who used to be Christian or were Roman Catholic.
The following year, a few months after I was 19, I was at another friends birthday party. I made some new friends there. One evening at my convenience, I went to see one girl, and we had a great time. Shortly after, we started going out with each other.
A few months into the relationship, it happened that we started to get more physical with each other. Nothing serious to begin with but later to the point that we were both lying unclothed in a bed. We never went so far as to have sex, but these were still quite inappropriate circumstances for a Christian. I felt bad and apologised to God every time this happened. I even stopped inviting her over so much because I knew that it would end up happening again. Eventually, I gave up the relationship of eight months because I knew I couldn't stop doing this otherwise.
The following year, just before my 21th birthday, after having a wonderful friendship, I started going out with another girl who, at the time, claimed to be Christian. Not long into the relationship, she ended up discussing with me things that had happened to her previously that were similar to my past relationship. Knowing that this had been the reason for the break up of my past relationship, I had concerns that it may happen again. I told her not to let me do anything like that. It lasted for quite some time and we had a great relationship. Unfortunately staying away from the physical aspect didn't last the whole time and I ended up slipping back into the inappropriate behaviour, though not to the degree as with the first girl.
I realised my slipping away from God while my mind was consumed with the girl and the actions. I took the decision to leave the relationship to get away from the wrong actions and to focus my heart and my mind on God.
Now, I am longing after that deep intense relationship with God. Not just the Sunday morning service. The real intimate knowing, understanding, hearing and truly believing and trusting in Him one.
Recently, I have managed to get a job that I love and that suits me perfectly. Something I really love to do and with a lot of flexibility that I would want from a job and a boss. I have been found working on a small laptop underneath my desk...and no one batted an eyelid at this behaviour. This is an incredible blessing. An example of God's faithfulness, even while I was ignoring Him.
At 22 years of age, maybe now I'm finally starting to take God seriously.
I have failed many times. I am still failing. I will continue to fail. But I am certainly trying to try to make Him mine and me, His.
“As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you, oh God
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.
Watch this moving and inspiring story of Zac Smith who shows tremendous courage and faith in God as he fights cancer. AK
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Summer Madness Has Changed Me For The Best: Emma's Story
Not long before I went to Summer Madness I was a girl who didn't know who she was, I was lost in alcohol , drugs and depression. It was the Sunday night at Summer Madness that I was saved! Jasper was asking whoever wanted to become a christian for the first time to go up to the front and he would say a prayer with them. I really wanted to go up , like alot of times when people were going up for prayer too , but i was abit embaressed to be honest, I had never been to anything like it before yet I loved it . I felt like a frod though as i wasn't a Christian so i just stayed in my seat and said the prayer myself. A few minutes later I started to feel shivery and shakey so I told Nicola and she asked if it would be ok if she prayed with me. As she started to pray I felt this overwhelming feeling of Joy and Peace, I started to cry! ( it takes quite alot to make me cry lol ). They weren't sad tears though they where ears of joy! It felt As if it was Gods way of showing me that he was there , reasurring me that he really did exist! It was the strangest thing ( a good strange though! ).
From that night I have realised that the guilt I used to feel after a "Mad" night out was Gods way of "calling me". Since summer madness I have been trying to get to know more about christianity . I am so pleased that I went to summer madness and that My friend Rachel came with me as I wouldn't have went if she didnt go! I have taken home with me the most precious thing i could have and that is a realationship with God , Its going to need some building but i have the rest of m life to do that! =] I cannot wait to see what He has planned for me in the future. I know that this journey isin't going to be all fine and dandy but what I do know is that with god wth me every step of the way it will be that much easier.
Emma
From that night I have realised that the guilt I used to feel after a "Mad" night out was Gods way of "calling me". Since summer madness I have been trying to get to know more about christianity . I am so pleased that I went to summer madness and that My friend Rachel came with me as I wouldn't have went if she didnt go! I have taken home with me the most precious thing i could have and that is a realationship with God , Its going to need some building but i have the rest of m life to do that! =] I cannot wait to see what He has planned for me in the future. I know that this journey isin't going to be all fine and dandy but what I do know is that with god wth me every step of the way it will be that much easier.
Emma
Monday, 13 July 2009
Thought conditioners
I remember getting a little booklet when I was in my teenage years called 'Thought Conditioners' by Norman Vincent Peale. Each 'conditioner' was a verse from the Bible which was to settle your mind and set it on things above. It was accompanied by a little exposition by Dr Peale. To be truthful there was a time in my life when learning these verses off each day was a great help to me when I was facing a particular difficulty. I had been literally trying to 'lean on my own understanding'. I would encourage anyone who feels inclined to copy and paste these verses onto a document then learn off one each day.As always there is always a great satisfaction when memorising a piece of Scripture and often the Holy Spirit will bring it back to us when we are in need of it. Peace and Grace Ak.
Thought Conditioner No. 1
The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:27
Thought Conditioner No. 2
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Thought Conditioner No. 3
Renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Thought Conditioner No. 4
Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Thought Conditioner No. 5
What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24
Thought Conditioner No. 6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Thought Conditioner No. 7
I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10
Thought Conditioner No. 8
Confess your faults, one for another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16
Thought Conditioner No. 9
If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Thought Conditioner No. 10
The kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:21
Thought Conditioner No. 11
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 11 Timothy 1:7
Thought Conditioner No. 12
Thou shalt guide me with Thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Psalm 73:24
Thought Conditioner No. 13
Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Ephesians 6:13
Thought Conditioner No. 14
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
Thought Conditioner No. 15
He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he. Proverbs 16:20
Thought Conditioner No. 16
Incline your ear, and come unto Me: hear, and your soul shall live. Isaiah 55:3
Thought Conditioner No. 17
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Ephesians 3:20
Thought Conditioner No. 18
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
Thought Conditioner No. 19
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11
Thought Conditioner No. 20
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. Psalm 62:5
Thought Conditioner No. 21
Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9
Thought Conditioner No. 22
Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2
Thought Conditioner No. 23
But as many as received Him, to them gave He power. John 1:12
Thought Conditioner No. 24
The thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25
Thought Conditioner No. 25
This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
Thought Conditioner No. 26
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, Romans 8:37-39
Thought Conditioner No. 27
If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink. John 7:37
Thought Conditioner No. 28
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. Matthew 5:44
Thought Conditioner No. 29
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
Thought Conditioner No. 30
In Him we live, and move, and have our being. Acts 17:28
Thought Conditioner No. 31
If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. II Corinthians 5:17
Thought Conditioner No. 32
Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11:23
Thought Conditioner No. 33
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Thought Conditioner No. 34
Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. I Corinthians 2:9
Thought Conditioner No. 35
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
Thought Conditioner No. 36
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee. Isaiah 26:3
Thought Conditioner No. 37
This is the refreshing. Isaiah 28:12
Thought Conditioner No. 38
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
Thought Conditioner No. 39
When ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any. Mark 11:25
Thought Conditioner No. 40
They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. Revelation 7:16-17
Thought Conditioner No. 1
The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:27
Thought Conditioner No. 2
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Thought Conditioner No. 3
Renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Thought Conditioner No. 4
Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Thought Conditioner No. 5
What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24
Thought Conditioner No. 6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Thought Conditioner No. 7
I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10
Thought Conditioner No. 8
Confess your faults, one for another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16
Thought Conditioner No. 9
If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Thought Conditioner No. 10
The kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:21
Thought Conditioner No. 11
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 11 Timothy 1:7
Thought Conditioner No. 12
Thou shalt guide me with Thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Psalm 73:24
Thought Conditioner No. 13
Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Ephesians 6:13
Thought Conditioner No. 14
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
Thought Conditioner No. 15
He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he. Proverbs 16:20
Thought Conditioner No. 16
Incline your ear, and come unto Me: hear, and your soul shall live. Isaiah 55:3
Thought Conditioner No. 17
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Ephesians 3:20
Thought Conditioner No. 18
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
Thought Conditioner No. 19
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11
Thought Conditioner No. 20
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. Psalm 62:5
Thought Conditioner No. 21
Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9
Thought Conditioner No. 22
Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2
Thought Conditioner No. 23
But as many as received Him, to them gave He power. John 1:12
Thought Conditioner No. 24
The thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25
Thought Conditioner No. 25
This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
Thought Conditioner No. 26
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, Romans 8:37-39
Thought Conditioner No. 27
If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink. John 7:37
Thought Conditioner No. 28
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. Matthew 5:44
Thought Conditioner No. 29
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
Thought Conditioner No. 30
In Him we live, and move, and have our being. Acts 17:28
Thought Conditioner No. 31
If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. II Corinthians 5:17
Thought Conditioner No. 32
Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11:23
Thought Conditioner No. 33
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Thought Conditioner No. 34
Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. I Corinthians 2:9
Thought Conditioner No. 35
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
Thought Conditioner No. 36
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee. Isaiah 26:3
Thought Conditioner No. 37
This is the refreshing. Isaiah 28:12
Thought Conditioner No. 38
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
Thought Conditioner No. 39
When ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any. Mark 11:25
Thought Conditioner No. 40
They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. Revelation 7:16-17
Surviving sexual and physical abuse-Terri's story
My life has been a journey from rejection to rejoicing. I grew up in eleven different homes, with eleven different guardians. I felt alone, depressed and unloved. A man sexually abused me when I was six years old, another man at age eleven, and a third at fifteen.
I was physically and emotionally abused as well. Searching for salvation, I turned to men at an early age, desperately trying to earn love. I pretended I didn't care as time after time I was dumped, used and rejected.
I Did Not Want to Exist
I was an A student in school, but I didn't care. I did not want to exist. I had to repeat my senior year to graduate because of excessive absences. I tried everything to numb the pain. I was addicted to alcohol by age fifteen and was shooting up cocaine by the time I was nineteen. For years, drugs controlled my life. I tried everything from marijuana to LSD.
My friends and I had one goal in life: to win the lottery so we could buy huge amounts of cocaine and shoot up until our hearts exploded. One day, I had so much cocaine in my system that my muscles would no longer work. I couldn't stand or lift my arms. I thought I was going to die. I remember watching my chest, waiting to see my heart bust right out of my clothes.
After almost dying, I tried to pull my life back together. I knew I was going to die if I didn't do something. I ran away from everything and tried to go back to school. Eventually, I was able to start college, but could not escape alcohol and depression. I barely finished my degree again because of so many absences. I was labeled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and severe depression.
My Life Was Hopeless
Bound in fear, I could barely function on my own. At times I would barricade myself in my home, too frightened to even look out the windows. I slept with furniture in front of my bedroom door and weapons under my pillow. I was sure somewhere, someone wanted me dead. I truly thought my life was hopeless.
In 1992 I visited a church and received Jesus as my Savior. For the first time, my life had hope. God delivered me from alcoholism. I married my boyfriend, and had two beautiful children. My life was still a struggle, dealing with depression and my husband’s drug addiction, but God gave me strength to survive. I finally had a desire to live, even though I lived in constant fear.
The Greatest Challenge of My Life
In 1998 I faced the greatest challenge of my life - the death of my two-year-old son. In desperation, I grabbed onto God with everything I had. God answered my cries. He began to change me. I learned to hear his voice, and gave him authority in my life. I realized that I didn't have to live as a victim any longer. He became my comforter. He healed me of mental illness and began to free me of fear. Life is still a struggle at times, but now I know that I truly can be victorious!
Terri's Bio
For 5 years, Terri focused on spiritual maturity. Then God called her into ministry. She became an intercessor and a servant. Since then, God has used her to speak prophetically and He has used her hands to bring healing to others. God has called her into prophetic evangelism and deliverance. Terri received her education through the Assemblies of God Urban Bible Training Center in Tampa, Florida, where she graduated valedictorian. She now runs Aiming High Ministries with her husband, Jody. As Terri pursued God's desire for her life, she became burdened with the huge number of Christians still living in bondage. She became determined to take her testimony of freedom to the churches as well as to the streets. Now, together with her husband, they challenge people to aim higher, throw off the victim mentality, and arise victorious! To contact Terri or for more information, visit Aiming High Ministries at http://christianity.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=christianity&cdn=religion&tm=16&gps=248_311_1276_604&f=00&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.aiminghighministries.com/
I was physically and emotionally abused as well. Searching for salvation, I turned to men at an early age, desperately trying to earn love. I pretended I didn't care as time after time I was dumped, used and rejected.
I Did Not Want to Exist
I was an A student in school, but I didn't care. I did not want to exist. I had to repeat my senior year to graduate because of excessive absences. I tried everything to numb the pain. I was addicted to alcohol by age fifteen and was shooting up cocaine by the time I was nineteen. For years, drugs controlled my life. I tried everything from marijuana to LSD.
My friends and I had one goal in life: to win the lottery so we could buy huge amounts of cocaine and shoot up until our hearts exploded. One day, I had so much cocaine in my system that my muscles would no longer work. I couldn't stand or lift my arms. I thought I was going to die. I remember watching my chest, waiting to see my heart bust right out of my clothes.
After almost dying, I tried to pull my life back together. I knew I was going to die if I didn't do something. I ran away from everything and tried to go back to school. Eventually, I was able to start college, but could not escape alcohol and depression. I barely finished my degree again because of so many absences. I was labeled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and severe depression.
My Life Was Hopeless
Bound in fear, I could barely function on my own. At times I would barricade myself in my home, too frightened to even look out the windows. I slept with furniture in front of my bedroom door and weapons under my pillow. I was sure somewhere, someone wanted me dead. I truly thought my life was hopeless.
In 1992 I visited a church and received Jesus as my Savior. For the first time, my life had hope. God delivered me from alcoholism. I married my boyfriend, and had two beautiful children. My life was still a struggle, dealing with depression and my husband’s drug addiction, but God gave me strength to survive. I finally had a desire to live, even though I lived in constant fear.
The Greatest Challenge of My Life
In 1998 I faced the greatest challenge of my life - the death of my two-year-old son. In desperation, I grabbed onto God with everything I had. God answered my cries. He began to change me. I learned to hear his voice, and gave him authority in my life. I realized that I didn't have to live as a victim any longer. He became my comforter. He healed me of mental illness and began to free me of fear. Life is still a struggle at times, but now I know that I truly can be victorious!
Terri's Bio
For 5 years, Terri focused on spiritual maturity. Then God called her into ministry. She became an intercessor and a servant. Since then, God has used her to speak prophetically and He has used her hands to bring healing to others. God has called her into prophetic evangelism and deliverance. Terri received her education through the Assemblies of God Urban Bible Training Center in Tampa, Florida, where she graduated valedictorian. She now runs Aiming High Ministries with her husband, Jody. As Terri pursued God's desire for her life, she became burdened with the huge number of Christians still living in bondage. She became determined to take her testimony of freedom to the churches as well as to the streets. Now, together with her husband, they challenge people to aim higher, throw off the victim mentality, and arise victorious! To contact Terri or for more information, visit Aiming High Ministries at http://christianity.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=christianity&cdn=religion&tm=16&gps=248_311_1276_604&f=00&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.aiminghighministries.com/
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